I Quit

Today is one of those days that I wish being a mom wasn’t permanent. It’s one of those days when I wish I could just walk up to my husband, hand in my resignation and be done with it. Move on to something that doesn’t suck as bad as this can sometimes. Something with less stress and better pay. Like McDonald’s. Or alligator wrestling. I’m sure that has fewer occupational hazards.

This past week has been frustrating. M had an earache and bronchiolitis. The doctor ordered her to be on nebulizer treatments every four hours for a week. For your child to be on nebulizer treatments for one week, the use of a nebulizer machine is required. Call me crazy, but I assumed we would acquire said machine through the process of renting one. You know, one of those crazy schemes where you pay someone else money to borrow an item that you need for a short period of time. When you don’t need the item anymore, you give it back. You don’t have to pay a frazillion dollars and figure out what you are going to do with the thing the other 51 weeks out of the year that you don’t need to use said item. Oh no. Not with this. We (ok, the insurance company…but still!!) had to pay $240 some odd dollars to PURCHASE a nebulizer machine. Why? Because the insurance company thinks it is a more viable investment. But…we are more than welcome to “donate the machine back” to the medical supply company, who will in turn, “sanitize the machine and use it as a rental unit for someone else”. The tone the delivery guy used with that statement had the exact same amount of pity dripping from it that you would expect from a snooty rich bitch talking about homeless people at a soup kitchen. Like using a “rental unit” means you are some sort of substandard human being. Well, fortunately for us, we are high falutin’ and own ourselves a fan-cee nebulizer thingamabob. Git in the truck, Paw… we goin’ to the country club!

On top of spending a week trying to get a 3 year old to sit still for 10 minutes during her “breeving treetmints”, she woke up with a horrible rash all over her face, arms, and legs on Wednesday morning. Because she is allergic to Amoxicillin. And allergic reactions are very itchy. Poor baby.

Yesterday, all 3 children had doctor appointments. M had her follow-up check up, Bug had his well-baby check (waaaaaaay overdue. Because I am a bad mom and should be fired anyhow) and J had to have some warts frozen off. Being trapped in a tiny room with 3 small children is not fun. Holding down a small child so he can have 4 shots…even less fun.

And today, Bug got to start “breeving treetmints”. Because he has what his sister had (Thank goodness we’re the proud owners of a nebulizer!!!) and I was too dumb to recognize it as the exact same thing. “I thought it was a cold! He’s had a runny nose! M didn’t have a runny nose!” Hmmm, that’s because Bug has a friggin’ sinus infection, which explains why he has had a continual supply of snot for the past 3 weeks. Duh! (Note to self: Write letter to each and every one of the people who told you that you were a “paranoid mother” with your first baby, and made you think that a runny nose means nothing! Also consider making voo-doo dolls of them.)

So…yeah…the breeving treetmints. I thought giving them to a 3 year old was frustrating. That was nothing compared to the sheer hell of giving them to an 18 month old. The Screaming! The Thrashing! The Kicking! The Clawing! I honestly think I would have faired better in alligator wrestling.

I QUIT! Mom no longer works here.

Oh,the disgusting cuteness of it all…

[ awesomely cute photo of my child removed because some asshole stole a picture of one of my kids and so I no longer post pictures of my children. ]

Maybe it’s enough to make me stick around. At least for another day or two. Until a position as an alligator wrestler opens up.